As part of Auntie’s early marketing strategy, I spent countless hours scrolling through Instagram and TikTok, absorbing content on pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood. Reading through the comments, I noticed one thing: no one ever unanimously agreed on any advice or opinion. People even argued about content creators’ personal experiences. This made me hesitant to publicly share my own motherhood journey.

People often act like they know your baby better than you do. While some advice can be helpful, much of it feels intrusive. I found myself nodding politely and saying, “Okay,” just to get through conversations. It’s astonishing that out of all the life stages I’ve experienced, parenthood attracts the most unsolicited comments. Every aspect of parenting comes with multiple opinions and judgments. There’s no one “right” way to do things, and whatever path you choose will be scrutinized. I remember when I was pregnant, and two people from either side of my family told me how to correctly burp a baby. One of them recommended I gently tap the baby on the back, while the other encouraged me to not be afraid to vigorously pat the baby. Which one was it?! I just nodded my head and smiled at them both!

The most amusing part of unsolicited advice is often the source. I’ve received tips from people who aren’t parents and have never experienced pregnancy. It’s incredible how becoming a parent amplifies others’ opinions. I remember when someone told me to make sure I watch for hairs that may catch and twist on my baby’s fingers and toes. I already knew this, but this person felt it necessary to repeat it to me despite never having been pregnant or raised a child!

A secret trait emerges in new parents when they or their baby feel threatened. I call it the Bear Factor. This instinctual protective characteristic helps us deal with criticism. As first-time parents, we’re already uncertain and wobbly on our feet, trying to navigate the unpredictability of a new baby. The fear of judgment from others only adds to this stress. The Bear Factor can aid new parents in doing what’s best for their family. For new moms dealing with the ever-changing levels of postpartum hormones, this factor can be a source of strength.

There’s so much conflicting advice on every topic related to babies and parenthood. When my partner and I face a decision, we often ask ourselves, “What did families do for thousands of years?” This perspective helps us make decisions that feel right for us. At the end of the day, I will do what’s best for me, my baby, and my family. For instance, there is a plethora of commentary on how best to feed a baby, whether breastfeeding, pumping, formula feeding only, or supplementing with formula is best. Guess what? I do it all! That’s what works best for my family.

Parenthood is a journey filled with well-meaning but often overwhelming advice. By trusting our instincts and focusing on what’s best for our families, we can navigate the noise and find our path. Additionally,  finding communities where you can ask questions and receive respectful feedback will help with your parenthood journey. How do you handle unsolicited advice? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you!