I stumbled upon an Instagram post discussing the transition from the “roommate phase” to the “teammate phase.” The roommate phase often describes that period in early parenthood when couples feel more like cohabitants than romantic partners, just passing each other in the hallways while managing a newborn. The Instagram post offered a refreshing perspective, encouraging parents to view this time as the “teammate phase.” Both partners are navigating the complexities of caring for a baby, maintaining their relationship, and defining their new normal together.

Before our baby arrived, my partner and I had grand plans for how we’d manage everything. We imagined a strict, predictable schedule for diaper changes, feeding, and sleeping, which would allow us to maintain our usual routines together. How naive we were! Our baby sleeps through the night but refuses to nap during the day, making for a sometimes cranky little one in need of constant attention. This meant doing many things in shifts—one of us would eat quickly while the other entertained the baby, waiting for their turn to eat. We missed our leisurely meals and TV time together!

We had to adapt. I get up early to feed the baby, and a couple of hours later, my partner joins me. We savor this time together with coffee and TikToks before the day fully starts. In the evenings, after the baby is down for the night, we catch up on our favorite shows. These adjustments help us feel more like teammates than roommates.

Our journey to this point wasn’t immediate. In the beginning, the baby needed feeding every 2-3 hours, even through the night. We split the night shifts to get some rest. One rule we established was if either of us got overwhelmed during our shift or if it took more than an hour to put the baby down, we’d wake the other. This small change had a huge impact, making us feel more like a team.

Each day brings new challenges and lessons, but approaching them as a team has made all the difference. By making small adjustments and supporting each other, we’ve turned the roommate phase into a strong partnership. Embracing the teammate mindset has strengthened our relationship and enriched our family’s dynamic.

What strategies have helped you shift from roommates to teammates? Share your experiences in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you!