As we continue on the journey of supporting new parents with Auntie, the online discourse surrounding motherhood and parenthood has caught my attention. Opinions on labor, postpartum experiences, and parenting decisions abound, revealing a societal struggle with judgment and expectations. In the West, there’s a prevailing notion that mothers should effortlessly manage everything, while seeking help is often misconstrued as weakness. The scarcity of support for new parents extends beyond social circles, with inadequate maternity and paternity leave and soaring childcare costs compounding the challenges. Additionally, medical support generally seems to wean off. There is only one check-up with the mother’s OB/GYN six weeks after labor. Sometimes, this check-up is done with the baby’s pediatrician, further highlighting the lack of adequate maternal support. With unsolicited advice from family, friends, and strangers and lack of support from our current healthcare system and labor laws, it is no surprise that many parents find postpartum to be a stressful and isolating time. 

While the issues stated above seem insurmountable, there are possible solutions found in other societies that may provide insight into how postpartum can be a collective and supportive experience. A recent NPR article, titled “Bringing up a baby can be a tough and lonely job. Here’s a solution: alloparents,” explores a community in the Republic of Congo where childcare is a shared responsibility. Between 15-20 caregivers contribute to raising a child, providing a stark contrast to the Western individualistic approach.

The positive impact of communal childcare, evident in reduced rates of postpartum depression, is not limited to this community alone; similar patterns are observed in other community-based cultures. Children’s basic physical AND emotional needs are effectively managed by the wider community. This collective childcare support has shown to improve not only the wellbeing of the mother and child, but the community as a whole. Comprehensive support to women and babies during the postpartum period is a foundation for societal well-being. Researchers conclude that humans are psychologically and evolutionarily primed to raise children cooperatively.

When we started Auntie, I remember interviewing other moms and friends with diverse cultural backgrounds. They shared experiences of all the women in the family coming in and taking care of the new mom by cooking and cleaning the house, and refusing the mother to do any work for at least 40 days. This allowed the mother to recuperate physically and bond with her baby without worrying about the household. Another couple told me of a birthing center in Japan that took care of the mom and baby for a week after birth, cooking her nutritious meals based on her dietary needs, and coaching her on lactation. Even more, my own mother shared how she was given herbal baths for the first several weeks in postpartum to aid in physical healing. These practices are virtually unheard of here in the West. 

In the face of societal shortcomings in supporting parents and their babies, Auntie acknowledges that it can’t single-handedly address all these challenges. However, our aim is to build a foundation and pathway for individuals to share their postpartum journeys within their own communities and, eventually, society as a whole. Parenthood was never meant to be a solitary endeavor. It’s a transformative experience that I would argue is vital to be shared.

We started Auntie because we saw that within women’s health, postpartum is the least supported time in a woman’s life. We start by doing a holistic examination of the mother’s health. Then we bring in her primary support partner (whether that is her spouse, partner, mother, sister, friend, etc.) and inform them on how they can best support her based on our assessment of her wellbeing. Our solution begins with enhancing the relationship between the mother and her primary support partner, but eventually we aim to expand our offering to additional family and friends, and eventually other moms.

Our long-term vision is to expand into other areas where a person may be experiencing a life-changing situation where community support is vital. Community support not only provides the affected person with mental/emotional and social stability but also empowers their community with empathy. Our focus on enhancing both ends of the relationship fulfills our goals of building a better society that recognizes the importance of collective effort and shared experiences.  

Join Auntie in fostering a sense of community and empowerment. Let’s redefine parenthood as a collective effort, where support is abundant and judgment is replaced with understanding. Parenthood was never meant to be done alone; let’s build a village together.

Shilpa Jais-Stewart, CoFounder